Whew I don't know what motivation is. Or I do and I just live in its absence and it sucks.
Spouse is officially done with work and is kicking ass on his way through his first week of classes. I wish my joy could be spun into motivation to work on my own stuff. Alas. ALAS.
Oh! New EP is out for toadlilies . As per usual, all the services I could track down are linked on the band page. As per usual, please use bandcamp if it is convenient for you!
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
This week has been hell at work. Too much going on. Too much too much too much.
Tomorrow is spouse's last day at work. It is exciting!
I need to figure out a good way to keep track of everything I'm doing. I am bad at it. I don't know how to not be bad at it. I'm trying, tho.
Next week I'm gonna try to start running. I guess. Hahahahahahahahahaha. It'll be fine. Maybe.
I stopped feeling sick a couple of days ago which is nice. I hope it stays that way.
I thought I had a lot to talk about but I guess I don't.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
Feeling like shit still. I hate it. I don't know how to fix it. Well aside from working on my proposal. But my brain refuses to work on it until I have perm numbers, and those just ain't coming so womp womp I guess.
Getting things done tho. Slowly, but I'm getting there. I am dreading some emails and pings I need to send so I'm putting them off. I know there's a theme here, best not to discuss it.
There are things that are good. Spouse has 3 more days left of work (he took today off, lol) and so we took a walk this morning. Next week we are going to try....running. Best not to think about that too much. I'm a sprinter by trade. Long distances...I'm willing to give it a try.
Other things....Idk. I'm feeling less garbage in my head, but my head is still making my body feel icky. Hopefully that resolves soon.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
I have felt...awful all last week. Just unceasing dizziness. I've tried sweets, I've tried exercise, I've tried Xanax, I've tried hydrating. I just don't know what's wrong with me and I really don't feel like going to the doctor since my doctor moved across the country. Womp. I might drown myself with the amount of water I'm drinking today, but I need to drink more water as a matter of course so oh welllll.
I'm also just like, super unfocused. Let's make a list of what could be stressing me out.
Right, so that's all enough to put me on edge.
I'm going to go drink some more water and then work on this song.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
Spouse put in his two weeks at work yesterday, had his first ever zoom meeting, met with his advisor at [college], and got all signed up for the fall semester. I am so so so so so excited for him!
Today is a really good day. Spouse took today off cos we're going back to the audiologist for a follow up. The weather is deathly hot, but that's okay. The sun is shining and work is good. I've gotten a ton of stuff done that I didn't even realize I'd been putting off for want of some damn time!
I don't know. It just feels good to feel good. Like, content kind of good. Not that "over the moon" happiness that leaves you feeling empty and sad. It's nice. This feeling should exist in my life more often maybe. Haha.
Not a whole lot else going on. Might pick up a gel nail kit from The Internet. Might not. Idk. It will save me a ton of money in the long run. I'm having a good THINK about it.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
Wow today has flown by.
I'm working on a proposal thing for work. And I also should work on a proposal for my doctorate. And I'd really like it if I could get fucking permission numbers for my doc. Oh well. I guess it's still 2 weeks until classes. I just, it's only 2 weeks. Bleh.
I'm skressed and not doing well thinking about money. Which is weird because usually it's my go-to to relax via micromanagement. My brain is just kind of a fuzzy mess today.
I'm gonna go work on some stuff a little bit more, and then take a break to try re-recording these vocals on this last track for our EP.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
Happy Friday.
Spouse is quitting his job in 2 weeks to go back to school full time. I am so excited.
I feel like I had a lot to talk about but I guess I don't. I am waiting forever for my own permission numbers to come through so I can sign up for advising hours for my doctorate. I am going to work on my proposal this weekend so that I can get fucking done already. Ready to be Dr. Ready ready ready.
Anyway, I should get to work. I have a bunch of training materials I'm planning to plow through and I have to ask a couple of questions I keep forgetting to ask about.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
Okay so a couple of days away from the site and I'm no longer put off by the changes. It's fine. I wish my oranges were more orange-y, but falling on the side of accessibility is more important. I just like that it's light-themed now. Hooray. I wonder if there's a way to make it so folks could switch between? Probably some kind of javascript that I have zero interest in learning. Besides this is the experience I want on my website. So there.
Went to an audiologist yesterday cos of the TINNITUS. Turns out neither myself nor spouse have any hearing loss. And that it can happen for any and every reason. We're going back next week to learn about ways to mitigate the tinnitus, but mostly I'm just glad that my ears hear all the sounds just fine. Huge relief. I mean, we would have gotten hearing aids, but to not need them is a great relief.
I also got a boom arm for my mic. Finally. I'm still sussing out placing it, but it's nice to have that bit of desk real estate, and also to be able to actually face my main computer screen when I'm recording. it's the little things is what I'm saying.
Not a whole lot else to talk about. Trying to pay a hospital bill in person is a god damn nightmare -12/10 do not recommend at all. I just want a friggin' receipt so that I can prove that I paid the thing and I don't trust these folks to mail me one because it is 2021 and they don't even provide the ability to pay online. twenty-twenty-fucking-one. FFS.
Anyway I should do some work. Bleh.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
I think I'm done reworking the website. I'm on the edge on a couple of things. Mostly like, I don't really like the orange. But WEB ACCESSIBILITY says that that dark ugly orange is minimum for readability and even then I'm skirting a tiny bit. I'm completely cheating on the yellow because I just can't stand it being any darker. I already have brown. I don't need brown twice. I have also learned my heading structure is "bad actually" but I reeeeally don't care? Idk. I'm torn between ~art~ *fart noise* and accessibility. I would change these colors, but I don't want to make it hard to read. But I want it to look nice. SIGH. I suppose the real answer would be to not have monochrome themes for pages but THAT'S ALL I'VE EVER WANTED so like *fart noise forever* If I wanted some basic ass squarespace page I'd buy that. Also yuck.
I have like 7 more moons to get in Super Mario Odyssey and they're all either koopa races or challenges (jump rope & beach volleyball) and like, I get having skill challenges, but those sport ones are 10000000% endurance and I hate endurance challenges in video games. Lol my life is hard.
I re-recorded vocals for one of the songs on our forthcoming EP. It is much better. It will be out soon. I am excite.
Off to another afternoon of distance conference webinar sessions.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.
I changed the CSS on the ol' website. I MIGHT darken the text slightly. I'm not sure, from an accessibility standpoint, if the contrast as it currently sits is enough. I'm excited tho because I realized over the last couple of monthss that I actually very much do not enjoy dark mode. So here it is. Proto-ish. Like I said, I may darken the text, but I think the background shades/tints/whatever are about where I want them. I also need to adjust the background art because I would like it to be light and not dark and it's a WHOLE THING because it was made in google sheets and then I DL'd them and converted them to excel and just ugh. We'll see.
Sometimes life is hard. For a lot of reasons. I don't really want to talk about it, just kind of floating a placeholder to recognize it and let it go.
Anyway, I've got some Important phone calls to make and then I'm attending a ~remote conference~ and I guess I'll see how that whole things goes.
I hope everyone has a good Monday or a great Monday or whatever kind of Monday isn't awful.
Gonna go do some meditation before I do these Phone Calls.
Please:
Be kind to yourself.
Fuck the police.
Keep social distancing.
Wash your hands.
Wear a mask.
GET VACCINATED.
Stay safe.