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archived:  01 October 2018 
tagged:  Writing 

October is such a fraught month for me.

Emotionally, nostalgically, historically I love this month. I love Halloween, I love all the spookiness.

However, psychologically this month has been a disaster for me for the last....10 or so YEARS?

I have finally come to terms with being seasonally affected, and I think my love of spookiness has permanently and irrevocably been superceded by the trauma of losing so much sunlight and being trapped with darkness surrounding me metaphorically AND literally.

I am going to order one of those fancy emotion stabilizing lamps, and I am going to try to keep busy. Busy has seen me through a lot. I am hoping it can help to see me through this.

More than anything, I am working on being self-aware about the entire process.

It might be weird and it's probably psychosomatic, but I have been taking my vitamin D every day, started taking a multivitamin, and been consistently following a simple self-care routine both morning and night and it's done a lot for my awareness of my emotional states.

Here's to more of that in October of 2018.

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